Being a Type 1 Diabetic for nearly 18 years brings a set of highs and lows to daily life that you learn to contend with. Finding out you are pregnant when you are a Type 1 Diabetic takes the highs and lows to a whole new level.
I told myself years ago that children were never going to be part of the plan. Besides the Type 1 Diabetes (T1D) that has thrown me a punch or two over the last 18 years, I just decided a wasn’t a person who wanted kids. My husband & I had always agreed that if we got pregnant, great. If not, we would retire at 50, travel, and eat our way across the world. Not a bad fallback plan if you ask me…
March 4th is the day that my world changed. I went from being someone just trying to live life right to someone monitoring every moment and aspect of my life to ensure I am able to create a healthy and happy human being. It’s not easy creating a human. I don’t care how many fluffy blog posts & articles on The Bump you read, it’s tough! Now add the tasks of checking your blood sugar 12 times per day and counting every carb that passes your lips… It can be easy to forget that you are pregnant and should be enjoying this miracle of life that’s growing inside you. I was having a conversation with a pregnant friend the other day and she mentioned that her favorite part of her pregnancy was eating donuts, guilt free. <pause with a blank stare> She then asked me what my guilty pleasure food was going to be while I was pregnant. <more blank staring> I politely answered with a smile and an “I don’t know yet”.
The hardest part so far of being a pregnant T1D is the daily reminder that this is a serious business and every decision matters. Not just the major decisions of deciding whether or not to find out if it is a boy or girl or whether to get genetic testing. The little things matter too. Is that apple 22 carbs or 28? Am I too tired to get up and ride the bike this morning? While the answer will almost always be yes to that question, you get up anyway.
I have been very lucky so far that all my numbers are where they need to be. I will continue to do whatever I need to in order to make sure that my kid grows right.
It’s a tough job being a pregnant Type 1 but hey, I’m tough.
Here I am again. It’s funny that after not keeping up with this blog for so long, I now seem to want to write about everything. While moderation is key, today I jump back on the blogging bandwagon and pick up where I left off on my journey to find the best version of myself. New location, new opportunities. It will continue to be a work in progress but I am good with that.
Today being a holiday, I have the day off of work and I plan to use it to my full advantage. Day one of September was used to prep for the productivity I would find today and now I am ready to go. Errands, housework, & maybe an adventure or two… Sounds like a good start to me.
"Darling, I am here for you. I am offering you my true presence."
After over four years of living in our home, The Fella had our fence rebuilt yesterday. Now, it is embarrassing to admit how bad the condition of our old fence was. I never thought much of it until we got a new puppy last year (A puppy that had a Houdini-like ability to sneak through fences I might add). Ever since the Little Bit joined our family it has been a daily battle to keep her wiggly self away from the eye sore that surrounded our home & that only kinda reigned her in.
This morning I was reminded of how important it is to remember the little things that bring you joy. As I scrambled around the house getting ready for work this morning and realized I could actually let dogs outside without constant watch, I was truly happy. Every time I look at that fence I will feel a twinge of joy and be reminded of the freedom it has given me.
I recommend taking a moment to think about the little things that happened in your day today that brought you a moment of joy. I dare you not to smile…
I live three lives every day. No, I do not have multiple personalities but I sometimes feel like I am going in three different directions. My question is what is this doing to me and will I ever be able to merge my different selves? My three lives are these:
1. My work self - driven, unafraid, respectful & respected
2. My home self – hibernator, foodie, puppy wrangler, unorganized mess
3. My ideal self – you know that image you see when you close your eyes and you are everything that you want to be. For me it is a combination of laid back, social, put together, healthy person
At times I could be all of these at once but more often than not I find myself stuck on one path at a time. At this exact moment I am working on number three. As I sit at my local coffee/wine bar on a Sunday afternoon writing a blog post I am definitely operating as my Ideal Self. I have come a long way over the last two years and as I work on doing a better job of defining what I want in life it becomes easier to stay on this track. While I have these clarity moments I still find it difficult to bounce between Work Self & Home Self. I go so hard at work that I almost revert to the exact opposite of what I want to be when I get home. I have two clearly separated Selves and I find it hindering my progress toward the best version of me. Here we are back at the Work Life Balance vs. Integration conversation again.
Just last week I sat with two team members and I realized we were having this exact conversation just with a different spin. A coworker was struggling with the idea of using her personal social media site at a professional event and had no intension of merging her two worlds. In the professional culture we work in it is becoming difficult to separate what you do from who you are. Most of us have succumbed to the idea that our title is a major part of who we are as people and we should just embrace that. Social media has also impacted us by giving us ways to merge our selves more and more. It is difficult to keep your online image private and if you accept that you are one person with one message, it could be quite freeing and make life less complicated.
My earlier question was, is it possible to merge my separate Selves? My answer for now is yes. My goal this week is to work on my cohesive life message and embrace who I am. If I start to roam too far into one of my Selves I will take a moment to decide if this is really where I want to be and adjust as needed.
Work-Life Integration Revisited
A while back I posted an @LevoLeague article I read on shifting from the idea of Work-Life Balance to Work-Live Integration. I loved the thought and even tried to pitch the idea to some of my skeptical co-workers. Now that some time has gone by I am looking at this idea again. I think my immediate reaction to this idea was a great one since I wanted to dive right in and integrate my worlds right away. After a brief reality check around what my Work-Life currently looks like and how much Life-Life I actually have to live I decided I needed to really map this out to see if it was more than just a good idea and actually possible.
I am consistently guilty of plopping the Life side of things on the back burner to focus on Work. I mean, come on, that’s the job that pays me and it should be most important, right? No! I realized that maybe if I started looking at Life as a job as well, and a job that deserves my utmost respect and focus, that I might be able to create a bit more equality. My job is very demanding and is not the kind of job that is over after 40 hours in the office. It often follows me home and certainly keeps me moving while I am at the office. The option for flexibility exists but often is more difficult than it’s worth. I often cancel doctor’s appointments and forget to take my dog to the groomer. If I can’t get an appointment scheduled on my beloved Saturday morning then there is a solid chance it won’t happen.
Last week I tried an experiment. I took my long list of to do items and decided I would scratch off the whole list during the work week. I started by sacrificing Sunday with a full house cleaning and doing all of the laundry. With this out of the way I was able to focus on my list and get started. On Monday before work I picked up the dry cleaning I had dropped off a week earlier. On Tuesday I dropped the puppy off at the groomer and agreed to pick her up three hours later (in the middle of the work day!!). On Wednesday I walked away from my desk for 15 minutes and scheduled all of my doctor’s appointments for the next three months (turns out you can only call them yearly check ins if you actually go every year). Thursday I made it to my weekly happy hour, stayed for a couple hours and was home doing dishes and reading by 9pm. On Friday I walked with a co-worker to get a cup of coffee and even sat down to enjoy it before returning to work. All it took was a little planning ahead, the nerve to walk in and tell my boss that I needed to run an errand on my lunch, or take a lunch for that matter, and just do it. The work would still be there when I got back and no harm would actually be done if I took 5 minutes to update my LinkedIn status or read an online article related to my job. If I wait until the end of the day when I am tired and not likely to remember what I was suddenly inspired to do then my to-do list would simply continue to grow. This project showed me that I am capable of so much more than I get done each week and my happiness is greatly affected by this level of productivity. I am now more inspired to keep up the momentum and maybe even find more time to read and write about the things I am passionate about.
When I am asked “what I do for a living” I want to be able to answer honestly; I live my life. My family will be thrilled.